


Nighttime Showers

by justanotheruswntlover19



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:15:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23524432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanotheruswntlover19/pseuds/justanotheruswntlover19
Summary: “Do you have to fucking sing at the top of your lungs when you shower at 3 in the morning?”AKA neighbor AU where Christen and Alex definitely, 100%, no way in hell, will be anything except enemies.
Relationships: Alex Morgan/Christen Press
Comments: 4
Kudos: 97





	Nighttime Showers

**Author's Note:**

> Hi friends :) i hope you are all staying well and healthy <3 i just wrote this bc im bored af, so i hope u enjoy! Much love to everyone who reads this <3

There were only a few things that Alex Morgan really, thoroughly, genuinely, actually enjoyed. Some things that were so pure that they could do nothing except make her happy. One of those very few things was her binge watching at 3 am on Friday nights when she knew she didn’t work the next day. There was nothing sweeter, in her opinion, than the piles of Chinese food, the red wine, and hours of Parks and Rec. 

Of course, on these nights, she really enjoyed the quiet the most. The sheer bliss of being the only one awake in her apartment building. She knew Tobin was fast asleep, and the next door apartment had been vacant for months. There was literally nothing on her floor that could come close to bothering her. 

Once Alex reaches her fourth episode, she hears. Pipes? She sits up from her couch to listen more intently, because there’s no way there’s a leaky pipe. She paid as much as she did for her apartment because the building was in pristine condition.

Upon further listening, it really was pipes. Leaking. Coming from her next door neighbor. Alex sighs to herself loudly when she thinks about the mess she’s going to be in when she texts her landlord to complain. 

She tries to ignore it, she really does, but each drip just gets louder and louder. The constant sound is really testing her patience, and Alex Morgan was not known for her patience. 

She debates on texting Tobin to see if she can hear it too, and when she’s pulling out her phone she hears singing. Like, actually singing. Not humming. Not even whistling. Full on, belting out notes, singing. 

Alex did see moving boxes in the front of the building earlier, but there’s no way someone actually moved in today. But then who else would be singing right now? 

There’s only one way to actually find out what the hell is going on, and Alex has never been one to beat around the bush. So, she throws on a pair of shoes and is out the door before a second thought. 

When she approaches her neighbors door, she realizes there is someone singing from inside. She knocks gently the first time. When no one answers, she knocks much more aggressively. Still no answer, the third time is basically a pounding on the door that leaves Alex more frustrated than when she first came over. 

Finally, after what seems like a solid half hour, someone answers the door. Alex is greeted by her- what she assumes- new next door neighbor only in a towel, hair still wet.

“Do you have any fucking idea what time it is?” Alex asks, obviously annoyed. 

“Um. 3:42?” 

“Great. So tell me why the hell are you showing at this hour?”

“You could hear me shower? Perv!” Christen yells while holding her towel up with more force.

“Jesus, no! You’re just being loud as hell and I’m trying to enjoy the peace and quiet!”

“Well, that would have probably been a better plan if you didn’t pound on my door and continue to be ‘loud as hell!’”

“Well, sorry that you’re fucking pipes are loud as hell and you sing at the top of your lungs!” Alex yells. 

“Maybe don’t be fucking stalking me and we won’t have a problem!”

Alex’s about to respond, for the millionth time that she was _not_ a stalker, when she hears the door across the hall open and Tobin steps out.

“Jesus Christ, both of you shut the fuck up! Alex, this is the new tenant, Christen. Christen, this is Alex, your next door neighbor. Good introduction, but can you both please shut the fuck up and go go to bed?” Tobin asks. 

Alex blushes at her friends request, with the new knowledge that their shouting match probably woke the entire building. “Sorry Tobs. Go back to sleep, we’ll be quiet. I’ll buy you brunch Sunday to make up for it?”

“Mhm. We’re going to that fancy place on 34th street then, not that shit Starbucks.”

Alex nods and says goodnight to her friend before turning back to the new tenant. 

“Right. Well, since you’re new here, I guess I can forgive you. But I swear to god, if you wake me up again with your leaky fucking pipes and off pitch singing again, I will make your life hell. Got it?”

“Well, I don’t know how worse my life can get seeing that you’re my neighbor. Bring it,” Christen says before slamming the door in Alex’s face. 

Alex has to take a few seconds to calm down before she rips the door open and shows Christen what she really means. But, if Christen wanted to play that game, Alex had no other choice than to _really_ play. 

-

Alex’s alarm clock wakes her up at the bright and early hour of 7. Instead of turning it off, like she normally does, she moves it so it’s against the wall that she knows she shares with Christen. Alex starts getting ready- like every other day, except slightly louder and definitely more annoying this day. But, it would all be worth it.

When Alex starts putting her work out clothes on, she can hear Christen’s muffled shouts coming from next door. A smile graces her face when Christen’s shouts only get louder and obviously more agitated. Still, Alex doesn’t turn the alarm clock off. 

Before Alex can leave her apartment, there’s a knock on the door and Alex can probably guess who’s hammering away on the other side. Checking her hair and grabbing her yoga mat, she opens her front door and mentally prepares for this conversation.

“Good morning new tenant! You sleep well?” Alex asks Christen.

“God you’re such a bitch. Seriously? You’re gonna be this petty because I showered last night?”

“Nope. I’m just going about my day. Nice pajamas, by the way. Way better than the towel you were wearing last night,” Alex says while referring to the bunny shorts and low cut tank top Christen was wearing. 

Christen can only react in shock- in actual disbelief that her new nextdoor neighbor would act like this over getting a shower.

“Are you serious? I take one shower and you’re gonna make my life a living hell?”

“Nope. You said last night to bring it. So, consider it brought,” Alex says while locking her front door and walking out of the complex. 

Christen’s left standing in the hallway with her mouth agape. 

“Mhm. That’s Alex for you.”

Christen turns around to see Tobin standing in her doorway with a cup of coffee in her hand.

“Is she always like this?”

“This upright? Yeah. This mean? Nah. You must have rubbed her the wrong way last night. Good luck getting back on her good side.”

“Why would I want to be on the good side of someone like that?” Christen asks.

“Because being on the bad side will make you suicidal. Once you get on the good side you’ll see she’s a good person, really.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it.”

Tobin holds up her hands in defeat before retreating back into her apartment, leaving Christen, once again, in an empty hallway. Christen takes a few deep breaths before going back to her apartment to make new plans that would surely make Alex surrender. 

-

One of the very few things that Alex enjoyed, other than her Friday nights, was the walk to her morning yoga. The yoga was neither here nor there- but the walk. The walk was the most perfect way to start the day. 

She was privileged to be able to pass her favorite coffee shop on the way to yoga- and yes, maybe she chose this specific yoga studio so she would walk by the coffee shop, but god was it worth it. 

On her normal work days she would have to walk the other direction- the only good coffee shop being miles away. She always had to settle for disgusting and overpriced coffee, too stubborn to buy a coffee maker for her own apartment. 

Saturday mornings, though. On Saturday mornings, she got her improved coffee that didn’t leave a bitter taste in her mouth. Saturday mornings also held their own special entity because of the coffee cake that she ordered every weekend, that could easily make her cry tears of joy if she was having a bad day.

Biting into it let's her feel the most satisfaction she’s felt in a week. Exactly one week- the last time she bought the pastry, to be precise. She normally has to eat it on the go, but she left a few minutes early today so she can really savor the taste. Maybe it was what happened early, or the pastry, but Alex is pretty sure she’s about to have the best yoga session in her life.

-

Alex walks back into her apartment without a look back at the new tenants door. Maybe it was the rush of adrenaline, or the good mood Alex found herself in after that yoga session, but maybe it was possible that her and Christen would salvage a friendship. After this morning, things seemed to be even, right?

Alex quickly grabs clothes for a shower so she can start on her business part of her weekend- the half of the weekend that she dreaded every Saturday. Making a list in her head about the people she needs to email, the interns she needs to fire, her assistant-

Alex's head snaps up when she hears it. It was slight and faint, but it was there. There’s _no_ way Christen would pull this. She tentatively puts her ear up to the wall that she shares with Christen and she gasps when her suspicions are confirmed true. She can hear a slight yapping coming from her neighbor’s room- nothing too big, but definitely some noise coming from what Alex can only assume is a small dog. 

There’s _no_ way Christen could be this stupid. Did she think that breaking the rules for the apartment would really get back at her? Alex could get her evicted in a matter of moments, if that’s what she wanted. 

But, there was a small part of her that didn’t particularly want that. She doesn't know what it is, but she decides to not text her landlord and just go and talk to her neighbor, once more, to warn her. 

“I know for a damn fact that you don’t have a hound from hell in there. You know you can’t keep pets here,” Alex tells her with a stern face, once she gets Christen to open the door.

“Oh, I do know that. Trust me, there are no pets in here,” Christen responds with a large smile. 

Alex doesn’t trust this situation in the slightest, but continues. “I can hear it in there. You’re not fooling anyone. If you don’t get that dog out, I won’t have a choice to text our landlord.”

“Go ahead! Tell her I said hi,” Christen says before, once again, slamming the door in Alex’s face. 

Unlike the first time, Alex takes this door slamming much better. She did her duty as a good samaritan to warn Christen, but now she felt no guilt about texting their landlord to complain. Christen brought this on herself, really. Just sad to see someone like Christen go- the woman seemed like she was capable enough to keep up with Alex, and Alex rarely found someone with that quality. 

Still, sometimes things worked out for the better, so she takes her phone out and sends a quick text to her landlord informing her that Christen broke the rules and is housing a dog. She puts the phone back on the table and prepares to go back to her shower so she can start her work for the day. 

Alex takes her time in the shower- she normally didn’t, but it just felt good to have the warm water rinse over her today while she clears her mind of her soon to be ex-neighbor. She lets the body wash serve as a distraction from the entire situation. 

When she gets out of the shower, she can hear the dog barking again, much much louder this time. Alex only rolls her eyes, knowing her landlord would take care of the situation sometime today. 

She tries to get back to work, she really really does. She gets her laptop booted up, her notepad out, even her company briefcase was laying out on her table. Still, even with all the productivity splayed out in her living room, she couldn’t write a damn word. 

That _fucking_ dog only got louder and louder. Her landlord texted her back and said she would look into it later today but she was busy until the afternoon. Alex rolls her eyes and gets her headphones, but it still doesn’t drown out the yaps, growls, and barks. 

Thirty minutes later and the dog has only gotten louder- something that Alex didn’t think was possible. She sighs and runs a hand from her damp hair and debates on going back over to say something else. She really wants to give Christen a piece of her mind, but she’s almost sure that it won’t end in anything except a physical fight. Christen was going to get evicted, no doubt, but that didn’t mean Alex should follow suit. So, she just turns her music up and tries her best to avoid the dog. 

Three hours pass before Alex finally has to call the day a quits- she only finished half of her work that she wanted to, so she’ll have to put in some extra hours tomorrow to make up for it. The second that Alex starts putting her laptop back in her briefcase, she hears a knock on Christen’s door. She can’t keep the smile from her face when she realizes where this situation is going to end up. She can’t help herself from looking out her peephole to watch the eviction take place. 

She almost doesn't believe her eyes when the landlord apologies, and then just leaves. Like, actually, like walks away without any other conversation. There was no way in hell Alex was letting Christen get away with this, so she's out her door before she even realizes where she's going.

“What the hell? Since when did she get special treatment?” Alex asks her landlord. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Alex. There’s no dog here," Christen tells her.

“Like hell there is! It’s been barking all day, I haven’t gotten any work done!”

“Seriously, I have no idea what she’s talking about, Becky. You can come in and look, but there’s no dog. Besides, do we hear any barking now?”

They all quiet down for a few seconds and listen. True to Christen’s words, there is no barking. Their landlord apologizes to Christen, glares at Alex, and makes her way out the door. 

“Fuck you," Alex tells her.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“No, seriously, fuck you. This morning I was willing to put everything behind us, but you’ve seriously made a very powerful enemy today.”

“Uh oh. I’m shaking in my boots, here.”

“Joke all you want. Really, go ahead. You might as well get some laughs in while you can,” Alex says while hitting into Christen with her shoulder on the way back to her own apartment.

“Hey Alex? If you ever get bored and can’t sleep, I found this Youtube video that’s really great for calming me down. It’s called ‘Yorkie barks for 5 hours’, I hope you check it out! It’s helped solve a lot of my problems.”

Alex takes a few seconds to compose herself before saying something that she won’t take back. “Wow, pretty clever of you. Where do you work again? You’re just so smart, obviously, that I’m dying to know what you’re doing with that big brain of yours.”

Christen immediately blushes, but tries to recover as quickly as she can. “Well, you know, I just moved here, so-”

“Ohhh, I see. So you either work at a coffee shop, babysitter, or dog walker. Which is it?” Alex asks. 

Christen doesn’t respond, but keeps her head down. 

“Hm. Well, considering you don’t really know anyone, I think the babysitter is off. Which probably means the dog walker is out too. Barista then?”

Christen still holds her tongue, but judging by the ever growing blush, Alex can guess she’s gotten the answer right. 

“Fun! I might have to check your shop out on Monday when I go to work. You know, my work. A real job. Oh! Where are my manners,” Alex says before going back to her apartment. 

When she returns, she gives Christen a small business card. “Here, you might need this. You seem to often get on the wrong side of people. Don’t worry, honey, we do a lot of pro bono work. You just call that number when- I mean if- you ever get in trouble. Okay?” Alex says with a sickening sweet voice. 

Alex leaves immediately after that, without giving Christen anytime to respond. Christen looks down at the card and sees it really is a business card with Alex’s name on it. A real, fancy, well put together one, too. She rips it up and throws it in the trash can without a second thought. 

Once Christen does that, she goes to her kitchen to see what she has laying around that she could make for dinner. Since she moved and didn’t get her first paycheck yet, her kitchen is quite bare. The only thing she can find that would successfully fill her stomach was ramen noodles. That she’s eaten the last 2 days.

She can’t complain, because she is eating at least, but it would still be nice to have something other than noodles. Her mind goes back to the conversation she just shared with Alex, and she can feel herself getting more angry the more she replayed the whole ideal. 

It just wasn’t fair anymore. She moved here to get a better life, but Christen found herself once again, at the very bottom of the ladder. She could deal with rude coffee customers, or even the hundreds of people that bumped into her in the streets, but having to deal with a neighbor like Alex? God really must have something against her. 

She hears the front door of the building open and sighs to herself when she realizes she really doesn’t have a life. Whoever was coming in was coming in late, meaning that they were out late, meaning that they were doing something with friends, family, co workers- everything that Christen wasn’t doing. 

She hears the footsteps getting louder, almost like they’re going to stop at her door. They do for a few seconds, but then she can hear them moving to Alex’s door. She checks out her peephole to see who it was- really just making sure it wasn’t someone about to murder Alex. Not because she was noisy. Nope, not in the slightest.

Alex opens the door and greets this stranger with a kiss. Christen has to keep herself from gagging when she drags him back into his apartment. As if tonight couldn’t get any worse for her. 

God, she really wanted to hate Alex. Alex was nothing but a bitch to her since she moved in. It would be so easy to hate someone like that. But Alex was also insanely hot, which made it a lot less easy to hate her. 

Yeah, Alex was rude, mean, spiteful, and aggressive. But she was also hot, powerful, hot, smart, hot, and so so intimidating. All of that rolled into one person was pretty much the definition of Christen’s type. 

She gags when she hears Alex and her boyfriend in their bedroom, but Christen just slips in some headphones and tries her best to ignore it. There’s no point of getting so worked up over something she can’t control.

-

Alex’s alarm clock wakes Christen up again, for the second day in a row. She sighs to herself when she realizes she won’t be getting any more sleep. She puts the pillow over her ears, and for a few seconds it works and she doesn’t hear the beeping for a solid five minutes. 

Christen sits up and realizes she doesn’t hear the beeping, because it’s not there anymore. She jerks her head up from her pillow when all she hears is silence. Is it possible that Alex actually turned the alarm off? Is it possible that this whole ideal is over and Alex’s main mission isn’t to make her life a living hell?

She scrambles out of bed to put an ear on the wall they share. Nope, no alarm. There’s really no noise at all. She can’t even hear Alex. 

Christen’s startled out of her position when she hears someone at her door. Was it Alex? Was she coming to apologize? 

She looks out her peephole and realizes that nope, it wasn’t Alex, and she wasn’t coming to apologize. But, at the very least, it was her other neighbor. 

“Hey?” Christen asks when she opens the door. 

“Hey, Christen. Sorry if this is weird but me and Alex are about to head out for brunch. Do you wanna come? I know you guys got off on the wrong foot, but I figured we could all hang out and maybe you guys could talk more,” Tobin says. 

Before Christen can respond, she hears Alex come out of her apartment, no doubt ready to leave with Tobin. 

“Tobs, you ready?”

Tobin looks back and forth between them. “What if Christen came with us? Like, it might be fun and you guys could talk?”

Alex smiles, not letting Tobin see how upset that thought makes her. “Aw, Tobs, that sounds great. But Christen isn’t ready, right? You can’t go out looking like that.”

Christen takes the insult before firing back “That’s okay, Alex! I can go change while you finish getting ready.”

Alex grits her teeth and nods. “This is actually what I’m wearing, but you go ahead and change. We can wait.”

Christen excitedly closes her door to get ready as fast as humanly possible. She didn’t particularly want to go, but anything to get under Alex’s skin would be well worth her time. Besides, she didn’t have anything else planned today. What else would she do? Binge watch Netflix for the 5th time this week?

Christen throws on some jeans a nice top before fixing her hair, but decides to let her hair stay down instead of her normal bun. Tobin and Alex both looked nice, but not incredibly fancy, so she does her best to match their formality. 

She grabs her wallet before making her way out the door. She knew she only had thirty dollars in her bank account, so she really had to make sure to be careful and order light today. 

“Ready! Where is this place?” She asks the two women waiting outside her door. 

“It’s on 34th street. Quite a walk, so I hope you’re ready for it.” Alex tells her.

Christen just nods and follows the two outside. She’s never wandered the city before, and she’s certainly never gone all the way to 34th street, not even close. She lets the other two women navigate the way and simply follows.

Walking with them makes Christen feel more powerful, but she can’t explain why. Maybe it;s because Alex is some badass lawyer and Tobin just has a Tobinlike quality to her, but no one’s bumping into her. No one’s even getting close to them. It’s like there’s an imaginary bubble around them that no one dares to pop. 

They make it to the restaurant far too soon for Christen’s liking- she’s very much enjoying the walk for the first time since she’s moved. 

Tobin holds the door open for both of them and Christen has to hold in a gasp when she first walks in. This sheer elegant energy this place had let Christen know immediately all she was ordering was a coffee. 

The hostess recognizes Alex- of course she would- and brings them all to a table in the middle of the restaurant. Christen starts to get the idea that Alex is _very_ well known in the city.

“This place is the best brunch spot in the city, Christen, really. Alex swears by it,” Tobin tells her when looking at the menu. 

Alex only hums in response, not bothering to look at a menu. She’s been here a hundred times, she basically has the menu memorized. 

Their waitress, that Alex is close friends with, of course, comes and before Christen can say anything, Alex orders a round of mimosas for the table. With that knowledge, Christen puts the menu away, knowing that ordering anything else except the mimosas would put her bank account in the negatives. 

“Oh no, what’s wrong, Christen? Don’t you like the menu?” Alex asks with fake sympathy. 

“Everything looks great! I’m just not a heavy eater. The drink will definitely be enough for me, but don’t let me stop you!” Christen responds with a fake smile. 

Tobin can feel the tension around the table as she sips on her water. She really thought that brunch might be able to get the two along, but she’s starting to realize she just basically signed up for a suicide mission. 

“So, Christen, why the move?” Tobin asks, trying to get the conversation going. 

“I just thought-”

Christen’s cut off when the waitress comes and drops off the mimosas. Alex ends up putting in her normal order, along with Tobin. Before Christen can say anything, Alex tells the waitress that Christen wants the lobster eggs benedict. Christen starts to pipe in, but Alex cuts her off. 

“Christen, there’s no way I could keep my conscious clean if I didn’t let you eat possibly the best eggs benedict in the entire city. What friend would I be?”

Christen swallows loudly and nods her head to go with it. There was no way in hell she could even afford half of it, and there was no way she could take another overdraw charge. Maybe she could just run out? Lie and saw she had a family emergency? But did she really want to give Alex the joy? No. She couldn’t keep her money, but she sure as hell was keeping her pride.

The rest of the brunch goes by uneventful, for all parties involved. Christen just slowly sips on her drinks and lets Alex and Tobin do most of the talking. For the majority of the meal, it’s like she didn’t even exist to the two other women.

The food came quickly, one of the perks of being with Alex, and Christen did have to admit that the eggs were the best she’s ever had. In the history of her entire life. She eats them painfully slow, knowing that after this meal, she’ll never have something half this good again for months. 

Lunch is winding down and Christen is getting more and more anxious about the bill. She can’t even imagine how high it’s going to be. She hopes that the three of them will split it by meal and not equally into thirds- if they don’t, Christen is so royally fucked. 

The bill comes and Christen holds her breath while she waits to see the total. But, before she can even reach out for it, Alex hands the waitress her credit card. Christen almost has to ask the waitress where her own bill is, because there’s no way Alex would actually pay for her meal.

Christen is proven wrong, however, when the waitress comes back, gives Alex the bill, and wishes everyone a good day. Christen stares in shock at the other two women when they get up from the table to leave. Christen can’t do much but follow them both out. Tobin announces she’s going to use the restroom before they leave so that just leaves Christen and Alex alone. 

“Alex why did you pay for me?” Christen asks when they’re both alone in the lobby. 

“Why wouldn’t I? I ordered for you.”

“Because we hate each other?”

“Mhm, we do, don’t we? Pretty satisfying to know that you couldn’t even afford brunch at one of my favorite cheap restaurants though. Cute, isn’t it?” Alex says while winking at Christen. 

Christen's jaw clenches when she hears this. She makes the split decision that she wasn’t going to let Alex treat her like a charity case anymore. 

“Thank you so much Alex! Everyone, can we listen to this? Alex has deemed me nice enough that she has treated me like a charity case since I moved here! Isn’t that so nice of her?” Christen basically yells to the entire restaurant.

“Christen, cut it out-”

“No, no! I just want the entire place to know how nice you are! Everyone, can you please listen! We are in the actual presence of the best samritian I know! I don’t even know how you’re awake Alex-”

“Chris-”

“No, it’s very impressive! Alex must love this restaurant if she’s here this early after being up so late last night. I mean, her boyfriend was over, and let me tell you everyone, they were up until 3? 4?”

Alex keeps her head down but her cheeks redding lets Christen know that her plan is working. 

“She just has such a big heart. From what I could hear, which is a lot, I know that she wasn’t getting much out of it. How generous is that of her? Getting 0 pleasure, but letting her boyfriend go on and on and on. How nice is that?

Everyone in the restaurant looks horrified, but Christen really doesn’t care. She’ll never be back to this restaurant, so it was entirely worth it to see the look on Alex’s face.

“Alex, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. I have no idea how you can possibly be so generous, but it really means a lot. Trust me, this meal that you bought me won’t be lost. Maybe I can come over later and try to unwind all the tension you’ve built up working. Hey, I couldn’t do much worse than your boy toy, could I?”

Alex only stares in shock, mouth agape.

“What? You don’t have anything to say now? That’s so funny, Alex. You act all tough and better than everyone else, but deep down, you’re just a scared and insecure little girl. Aren’t you? Did Daddy not love you enough? Did Mommy not tuck you into bed? Is that what all this is about?”

Alex looks around and with all eyes on her, she can’t do anything except run out of the restaurant, some tears forming in her eyes. Her and Christen did mess with each other, but this was simply too far. Alex vows to never forget this moment, as long as she lives. 

Christen feels slightly guilty after watching Alex run out. She didn’t think she would go that far, but once she started she just couldn’t stop. A part of her wants to run after her, but she refrains. 

She hopes for a few seconds that Tobin didn’t hear that, but when she locks eyes with her across the room, she knows she did. 

“Wow. Real fucking mature, right? Nah, I invited you here so you guys could talk it out. But apparently, Alex is a great judge of character. Stay the fuck away from both of us,” Tobin says before running after Alex. 

Christen feels way more guilty than she did a few seconds ago, and she watches Tobin run off, she realizes how deeply she messed this all up. 

-

It’s a solid week before Christen sees Alex again. They’re both getting the mail at the same time, and Christen thinks it’s the perfect time to apologize and hopefully make up and go back to how things were.

“Alex, about last week-” 

“Nope. Even if you apologized, which I doubt, I don’t wanna hear it. Go fuck yourself," Alex tells her simply. 

“Alex, wait please-”

“No. You said what you said. And you expect me to just forgive you? For what reason?” 

“I was out of line Alex. But, ever since I came here, you-”

“Ah. No. You don’t want to apologize. You want me to stop being mad at you because of stuff I did before. Two words for you, Christen. Fuck. Off.”

Alex doesn’t say anything else before climbing back up the stairs to their floor. Christen watches her go, so tempted to follow her for once, and try her best to make up for the horrible words she said before. But, they just weren’t meant to be friends. That’s the only thought keeping Christen still where she stands. 

-

It’s officially been a month since the incident, and Christen doesn’t think things could have gone worse. Tobin won’t speak to her anymore, Alex won’t even glance her away, and no one else in the entire apartment building acts like she exists. She almost misses the way that they used to argue back and forth- at least they were speaking then. Anything is better than the silent treatment. 

She debated going over to Alex’s and bringing something- like a truce. But what do you even bring for someone in this situation? Flowers? Cookies? 

She actually does go to Alex’s door one day. She knows Alex is home because she heard her come in, seeming way more tired than usual. Maybe it was the loneliness, or the red wine Christen had, but she finally got the balls to do something. 

She’s about to knock on the door when someone grabs her hand from behind her and pulls it from the door. She turns around and finds Tobin staring back at her. 

“No.”

“I was going to apologize.”

“I don’t care. Don’t.”

Tobin stands there until Christen gets the hint and goes back into her own apartment. She checks out of her peephole for the next five minutes to see if Tobin would leave, but Tobin stays positioned at her door. For as long as Christen keeps staring. She gets the hint and gives up for the night. Or maybe the next week. Or maybe for forever.

-

Christen wakes up from her sleep when she hears violent yelling coming from Alex’s apartment. She scrunches her eyes and sees that it's 3 am. What the fuck is happening? 

She quickly gets out of bed, puts some flip flops on, and opens her front door as fast as possible. Maybe, just maybe, she actually cared about Alex and wanted to make sure she was okay. 

Nothing in the world could have prepared Christen for what she’s seeing. Alex’s boyfriend- whatever his name is- and Alex are in the most intense shouting match Christen has ever seen. They would no doubt be waking everyone up in the complex. 

Christen can’t tell what they’re fighting about, but it looks really really bad. A lot of “I hate you” “fuck you” and “get the fuck out” are thrown around. At one point, Alex seems to have had enough, and keeps shoving him until he's out of the building all together. She goes back into her own apartment and slams the door shut. Christen thinks this is the perfect time to intervene.

“Alex?” Christen asks, walking slowly in her apartment. 

“What the fuck are you doing here? Get the fuck out.” Alex says with tears flowing down her eyes. 

“Alex, I swear, I’m not here for anything other than to make sure you’re okay.”

“Seriously, fuck off. Get the hell out.”

Christen debates with herself for a few seconds before coming to the decision that she needs to put her foot down. She needs to own up to what happened months ago. “No, Alex. I feel really guilty about what happened. Are you okay?”

Alex only nods before crying harder. Christen has seen the woman in front of her in many different moods, but never has she seen her in something close to his. Alex is full on sobbing, tears running down her face, and Christen’s pretty sure Alex will throw up soon if she doesn’t calm down.

“Alex, what happened?”

All Alex can do is shake her head, so Christen very gently leads her to the couch so they can both sit down. 

“He got another girl pregnant," Alex tells her.

“Oh shit.”

Alex just nods and stares at the empty space, face completely void of any emotion. 

“Alex, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. I wanted to break up with him for a while. Just feel bad for the other girl,” Alex says through tears, but still no emotion.

“It’s okay to feel sad about losing him-”

“I don’t. He’s the one that should feel bad.”

Christen nods, not really sure how else to navigate this situation. 

“Tobs is out of town on business this week,” Alex says, still not looking up. 

Christen takes this in and realizes that can either mean one of two things. First, Alex wants Tobin and only Tobin and needs Christen to leave immediately. Second, Alex doesn’t have Tobin within her vicinity and will take literally anyone to fill the void. 

There’s something about the way Alex is sitting that makes Christen want to stay with her. Tears are streaming down her face still, but her face has no emotion. It’s like she’s crying without actually feeling it. But, Christen knows better than that when she sees the true pain behind Alex's eyes. 

The longer they go without speaking, the more awkward the silence becomes. Christen looks around for the first time she’s been in the apartment, and it’s just _so_ Alex she laughs. There’s barely any pictures, sentimentals, or anything except her work things hanging around. 

“Something funny?” Alex questions. 

“Nah, your apartment is just exactly what I expected.”

“If you don’t like it, leave.” 

“No, sorry. I wasn’t making fun of it. I like it.”

Alex nods. “Do you work tomorrow?”

“Nope. You?”

Alex shakes her head no. Well, she was supposed to go in, but she was going to call in sick because why the fuck not. She hasn’t taken a day off in four years, so she didn’t feel too guilty about it.

“Do you want me to leave?”

“You can do whatever the hell you want. I don’t care.”

Christen, while she isn’t the best of friends with Alex, knows well enough that she’s lying. She can’t blame her though, Alex does have such a high sense of pride that asking Christen to stay would only plumet that. 

“Are you hungry?”

Alex shrugs. She really wasn’t, but she knew she needed to eat something. She didn’t get dinner because it was supposed to be with FuckFace, but. Things didn’t go according to plan.

“Yeah, but not much of an appetite.”

“Let me see what you have in the fridge, yeah?” Christen says while rubbing Alex’s shoulder. Alex surprises them both when she leans into the touch. 

“Third cabinet is where I keep the good stuff.”

Christen doesn’t understand what that means, but makes her way to the kitchen regardless. She opens the fridge and immediately knows what Alex means. All that’s in the entire refrigerator is fruits and veggies. Christen’s nose turns up at the sight of it and she quickly closes the fridge. She follows Alex’s instructions and when she opens the third cabinet she’s met with wine and junk food. Perfect. 

Christen pours both of them a glass and brings off all the chips she can find, in hopes that it would be enough to satisfy the older woman. 

Alex takes the wine and drinks it before Christen can even sit down. Christen drops the chips and goes back to the kitchen to bring the whole bottle. Alex pours herself another class while Christen finally takes a seat on the couch. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Chirsten asks.

Alex’s only response is turning the T.V. and flipping to some reality show channel. Christen takes this as a cue and shuts up. They both sit in silence for the next few hours, the only noise coming from the billionaires on the T.V.

Around the fourth episode, Christen gets really tired. Like, insanely, she can barely keep her eyes open, tired. She glances over at Alex and sees she’s already long gone. There can’t be too much harm falling asleep here? If Alex is already asleep? Right?

The next time that Christen opens her eyes, it’s because she’s awoken by the streams of lights coming in from the window. She looks over at the other end of the couch and sees Alex in the exact same position she was in hours ago. 

“Alex, Alex, Alex,” Christen says. 

“Huh?”

“Hey. I think we both fell asleep. I’m gonna head home, okay?”

“Mhm. Thanks for staying. Bye, Chris,” Alex mumbles. 

Christen only freaks out a tiny bit when Alex calls her that. It’s not like people have not called her that before- but the only people who call her that are people she’s close with. Is this finally the turning point for them? God, Christen hopes so. 

-

Christen waits an entire day before she dares knocks on Alex’s door again. She knew that last night was an outlier in their relationship, but she was in high hopes that it was the night they needed to change their dynamic.

So, with that thought, Christen knocks on Alex’s door and waits patiently for a response. She doesn't get one right away, so she knocks again. 

Alex opens the door and sighs when she sees who’s on the other side. “What do you want?”

“Hi. I just wanted to make sure you were okay-”

“Yep.”

Christen’s taken aback by Alex’s harsh tone, but continues. “Well after last night, I just thought-”

“Yeah, whatever you thought was wrong.”

“But-”

“No. I was hurting last night. My best friend wasn’t here. I let you sit on my couch while I drank wine and watched a shit show. That’s it. That’s all that was. There will be nothing else except that. It was a lapse in judgment. We aren’t friends now. We’re not gonna be friends. Got it?”

Christen can only nod. She starts to speak again, but before she can get anything else out, Alex has already slammed the door in her face. 

Christen walks dejected back to her apartment. God, she really thought that after last night she would be able to salvage something- anything- from their relationship. But, like so many other things in Christen’s life, she guesses it just wasn’t meant to be. 

-

Christen hates thunderstorms. Like, if she could list her least favorite things in the entire world, it would surely be the first thing on the list, circled and underlined in red pen. Unfortunately for her, this was the first thunderstorm since moving to the city, and of course it had to be a big one.

Big wasn’t even the right word. It was giant, humenagus, huge- no word could possibly describe how horrible this thunderstorm was for Christen. She tried ear plugs, T.V., and a sound machine that played forest noises, but the thunder just got louder and the lightning only got brighter. 

Christen knows better, she really does, than to have this much noise radiating from her apartment. Still, the storm was freaking her out too much for her to even register what could happen if she didn’t cut the noise soon. 

It wasn’t a surprise that Alex would be annoyed by all the noise Christen was making. For God’s sake, Christen was scared if she even had her T.V above the normal volume past 11 p.m. It’s not like she didn’t have a reason to be scared of Alex, though. 

Alex is in full disbelief that Christen would be so stupid to have all of this noise coming form her place, knowing what Alex thought about it. She slips on her shoes by the door and pounds on her neighbors door, for what feels like the millionth time. 

“Christen? Christen, Jesus Christ, turn that shit off!” Alex shouts. 

“Christen! Come the fuck on!” Alex says when she gets no answer.

“Christen. I’m not fucking around right now,” Alex says in a tone that she didn’t even know she could reach.

Christen rips open the door at the tone, and Alex can immediately tell something is wrong. It’s not like she cared for her neighbor, but if something was causing her this much tension, Alex was _very_ curious.

“Christen, what the fuck has got you acting like this?”

Christen just stands at the door, too afraid to say anything.

Alex doesn’t know what the fuck to do, because what the fuck is happening? She walks inside the younger girl’s apartment and closes the door, because honestly what the hell?

“Christen, what the fuck?”

Christen can only shake her head and go back to her spot on the couch, underneath all the covers she currently owns. Alex just stands there, looking at her, because she honest to God, has never been in a situation even close to this.

A particular loud clap of thunder elicits a squeak from Christen, who starts shivering under the mountain of blankets. Alex’s a smart woman, and it doesn’t take much for her to put two and two together.

“Are you serious Christen? You’re this torn up over some fucking rain?”

The only response Alex gets is a small grunt from the covers. She rolls her eyes, but goes to turn the T.V. and all other unnecessary noises off. 

“Turn it back on!” Christen yells.

“No! You’re an adult! Get over this!”

Alex is halfway out the door when she hears a. Whimper? Also like a cry? Alex rolls her eyes, but closes the front door and makes her way over to the couch once again. 

“Christen, you’re an adult, why are you afraid of some rain?”

The only response is a shrug of the blankets. 

“Okay, I can’t have a conversation with a blanket. Get out of that and talk to me.”

Christen pokes her head out of the blanket before saying “Hi.”

“Hi? What the fuck?”

“I really don’t like storms,” Christen whispers.

“Can you explain why?”

Christen shakes her head, but from the look on her face, Alex can tell it must be something actual serious. Not a stupid reason. 

“Right. Well, it’s gonna storm all day.”

Christen only nods.

“So, I’m gonna leave. Don’t make so much noise, yeah?”

Chirten grabs Alex’s hand before she leaves. “Please stay.”

The voice that Christen gives Alex should be unfair, because Alex can’t leave her now. No well in hell could she leave this woman on the couch. Which really sucks, considering how much she hates her.

“Fine. What do you want to do?”

Christen shrugs her shoulders, but winces when she hears another clap.

Alex tries so desperately to take her mind off of what’s going on outside. “Why did you move here? Why now?”

“I just thought that it was the best time.”

“Why?”

Christen smiles for the first time in two hours, because she _loves_ being asked that question. No one’s been asking her enough, really. She hopes Alex is so ready to hear a three hour monologue about her life decisions that lead her here.

-

The next time there’s a storm, which is only two days after the first one, Alex is at Christen’s door before the first clap of thunder rings. Alex, surprisingly, really enjoyed her time a few days ago, and she’s realizing that Christen is actually a very nice person. Almost too nice, in her opinion. 

She felt bad about Christen’s fear of storms, especially in the city they lived in. The rainy season would definitely be hell for her, but honestly, Alex was willing to help her through it. She definitely didn’t feel the same way two days ago, but god Christen grew on her like she would not believe. 

There was something about how she talked about her home life that Alex found so charming. She was never close to her family, but the way Christen talked about her family made Alex want to text her mother again. God, maybe even call her. 

Alex, shaking herself from her thoughts, knocks on Christen’s door and waits patiently. Christen opens it and greets Alex, a little confused on what she’s doing at her doorstep. 

“Hey Alex, what’s up? I don’t think I was being super loud.”

“Nope! I just figured we could hang out. I’m pretty bored today and I finished all my work. Are you down?”

Christen nods with a smile on her face that Alex hasn’t seen from the girl since. Well, since ever. Christen gets them both a glass of wine before sitting down on the couch and turning on her television. 

After twenty minutes, Christen hears the first boom of thunder, and she gets scared, but also happy? Alex obviously knew that there was a storm coming and that’s why she came over, and Christen can’t say she’s felt more cared for since she moved. 

Storms sucked, truly, and Christen didn’t hate anything in the world more than them. But, honestly, with her and Alex on the couch, actually talking and laughing, Christen thinks she might be okay with storms for the first time in her life.

-

“Hey Alex! I’m heading out to work, you gonna be okay?” Christen yells out her door while putting shoes on. She sees no reason to be quiet seeing Tobin is out of town and there’s no one else on their floor. 

She doesn’t get a response as she hurriedly puts on her shoes. 

“Alex! I need to leave like 5 minutes ago! Are you gonna be okay?”

Christen still can’t get a response. She locks her own front door and goes to knock on Alex’s door, but as her fist is being raised the door swings open. 

“God, so loud Chris. Ready?”

“Ready for what?” Christen asks. Alex is dressed in her normal business attire, so Christen can’t figure out what she’s supposed to be going to.

“To go to work, duh.”

“Uh, I am? But you said you didn’t have work today…” Christen trails off.

“Oh, I don’t. But I will be working out of office. Figured I could come with you and work on my laptop there,” Alex says while walking out the apartment building, expecting Christen to follow. 

Christen does her best to keep up with Alex’s fast pace, but God, even in heels Alex doesn’t slow down. 

“You can if you want, but it’s gonna be really boring.”

“Please, it’s not like I’ll be sitting there doing nothing except waiting for you to get off. I have work to do.”

-

Christen’s about 30 minutes away from finally being off her shift. Alex, true to her words, has been working in the corner all day.

Her co-workers kinda freaked out the first time they walked in together- apparently Christen didn’t know just how well known Alex was in the city. She, and her firm, apparently had billboards everywhere- there wasn’t a person here that didn’t know her name. 

Christen just shrugged them off and explained they were apartment neighbors. If anything, that made them fan over her even harder. Alex didn't pay any notice to them- the only time she actually looked up from her laptop was when Christen brought her a new drink. Alex didn’t order the drinks, but she thanked Christen every time she brought one over.

Her co-workers continue to tease her- she might have mentioned a few times about a crush on her next door neighbor, but she never mentioned a name. It didn’t take a genius for them to put the pieces together. They all tell her to go for it, but Christen knows it’s too soon. It’s too messy. They would never work. Ever. 

-

Christen’s busy getting a shower- not at 3 am- after a long day at work. She had three different customers yell at her and once throw their coffee back at her. She gently hums in the shower to a tune she was listening on her phone on the way to work. She always made sure to never sing too loudly. Not because she was scared of Alex, but more because she respected her. 

Ever since that fateful night in her own apartment, the two have become friends, but in quite a weird way. They both liked each other's company, but found themselves often going back and forth. Neither would budge on the shower story- both saying they were completely right. Still, Christen doesn’t take night showers anymore and Alex sets her alarm to vibrate only. 

Christen’s in the middle of her shampoo when she hears Alex knock on her door. The only way she knows it’s Alex because it’s also accompanied by her saying “Chris! What do you want for dinner?”

Christen bites her lips. She really did want to have dinner with Alex, but her older friend is always paying. She feels slightly guilty about it, but what else could she do?

Christen hears her front door open, but she’s not surprised. She gave Alex a key to her apartment a week ago for moments like these. It wasn’t romantic, not even the slightest. Yes, she had quite possibly the biggest crush on Alex, but it definitely wasn’t for that. Nope. 

“Chris! Where are you?” 

Christen yells back “In the shower!” 

She expects Alex to yell from the bathroom door, but when has Alex ever done something that someone expected?

Alex opens the bathroom door, making Christen shriek and pull the curtain back. “Oh chill. What are you thinking for dinner?” Alex asks while she fixes her eyeliner in the mirror. 

“You seriously have no idea what boundaries are.”

“Nope. Chinese?”

“Meh. I’ve had so much Chinese since I moved here. Burgers?” Christen asks as she washes her conditioner out. 

“Not really feeling it. Pizza?”

“You know I’m from Chicago. I hate your pizza here.”

“Gonna have to get used to it someday, Chris,” Alex hums.

“That day is not today.”

“Whatever. I’ll just get us food from that Italian place down the block. The usual?”

“Yeah that’s fine with me. Hand me my towel?”

Alex does what she asks before waving goodbye with the promise she’ll be back in thirty minutes with food. 

Not to be too emotional, but Christen _really really really_ likes being this close to Alex. Tobin’s not been around as constantly, so Alex has had no issue with welcoming Christen into her life. Christen, of course, had no problem with this. She had been so lonely- not knowing really anyone in the city. Still, it was less about not being lonely and more about being with Alex. 

-

Christen and Alex have been friends for a solid two months, and each day was getting harder and harder for Christen. Her small crush slowly developed into a full blown head over heels feeling. It was so easy to be so into Alex- everytime Christen talked to her, she felt her feelings get stronger. 

They spent hours upon hours with each other now- Alex normally came straight into Christen’s apartment when she got off work. Vice versa, when Christen got off her shifts she would be on Alex’s couch before she could even change out of her work uniform. 

Christen found herself on the way home from work for the third time this week. She started picking up more shifts so she could start paying for her and Alex’s activities. As she steps out into the street she shoots a quick text off from Alex asking what sounds good for dinner. Alex has been way overworking herself in the office, so Christen felt it was only right for her to step in.

It’s not until Christen’s walks a solid block before she feels her phone go off. She frowns when she reads the text from Alex saying she couldn’t make it to dinner because she had to stay in the office tonight. 

If anything was able to deflate Christen even more, it was reading that text. Working at the coffee shop just seemed to take such a toll on Christen’s mental health, and Alex just helped rejuvenate her after every shift. 

Still, Christen couldn’t argue with Alex. She needed to work and she needed to work tonight. There was nothing Christen could do about that. She can just make something at home and see Alex tomorrow. 

The rest of her walk home goes relently smoothly. Alex had been teaching her how to have a strong presence so people don’t bump into her. Her methods were working, even if they took some time to get used to them. 

Before she even realizes it, Christen's back to her apartment. She quickly climbs the stairs to her floor and is about to open her front door when she hears Tobin’s door creak open.

“Christen?” Tobin asks.

“Oh. Hi Tobin. How have you been?”

“That’s not what I want to talk to you about,” Tobin says seriously. 

“What’s up? Is everything okay?” Christen asks.

“It’s about Alex.”

“Is she okay? Did something happen? She just texted-”

“Christen, calm down. Can I come in?” Tobin asks.

Christen nods and leads them both into her apartment. “What happened?”

“I should be asking you that? I leave for a business trip for a week and when I come back you and Alex are best friends? Which is fine, but it’s been months?”

“Oh. I’m sorry? She just really needed someone that night-”

“Right. I’m gonna cut the shit. I love Alex. She is a great person, yeah? But she’s also a very fragile person, no matter what persona she puts out,” Tobin points out. 

“Okay?” Christen questions. 

“And I’m not stupid. You like her.”

“Um. Yeah? We’re good friends,” Christen says with a blush. 

“That’s not what I mean and you know it. You like her-”

“How do you know?” Christen asks. 

“Seriously? God it’s so obvious. But that’s not what I’m here to talk about. You like her. I get it. Lots of people like Alex. She’s strong, hot, powerful, smart, what’s not to like? But she just got her heart broken.”

“I know-”

“Let me finish. Before this goes any further, let me make myself very clear. Do you know what my job is?”

“No?”

“Do you know my last name?” Tobin questions.

“No?”

“Most people don’t. I like to keep my privacy intact.”

“Um?” Christen asks, not sure where this is going. 

“My point is. If you hurt her in any way, I swear to God that they won’t find your body. Are we clear?”

Christen gulps, but nods. 

Tobin says nothing else, walking out of the apartment without another word. Christen takes what Tobin said very seriously. She really really really liked Alex, but she was almost certain that her crush wouldn’t go anywhere. But if Tobin was at her own door threatening her, she had a chance with Alex. Right?

Christen looks around her apartment and feels instant loneliness without Alex sitting on her couch. Or at her dinner table. Or anywhere at all. There’s nothing stopping Christen from bringing her dinner though, is there? She can’t think of a reason.

She bites her lips for a few seconds, debating if she should take this plunge. Looking back at her completely empty apartment, she decides yeah, she should. 

-

“Chris?”

Christen's head snaps up from her couch. “Hey. Bad day at work?”

Alex just nods and takes her normal place on the couch. “I really don’t think we can win this one.”

“That bad?”

“More.”

Christen takes the other woman’s hand in her hands. “Don’t say that. You work best with all odds against you. You’re incredible.”

Alex sighs and wishes she could believe it. This case was the biggest she’s worked, and she knows if she loses this case it’s going to be horrific for her career. Still, there was something about being with Christen that made her feel more reassured then she ever was at the office. 

“I don’t feel like going out tonight.”

“That’s fine, Alex. Pick whatever you want from Netflix. I’m going to get us some wine,” Christen tells her. 

Alex hums in response, already flipping through the shows. Christen rejoins her on the couch, handing her a glass. Once Christen is fully seated, Alex lays down so her head is in Christen's lap- one of Alex's favorite positions. Christen goes in to give Alex a kiss on the forehead, knowing how much Alex loved it.

“I love you,” Christen whispers into Alex’s hair. 

“I love you, too.” 

Christen smiles when she hears this- part of it from happiness. Partly from sadness. She knows Alex loves her, but she knows she’ll never be in love with her. Maybe it’s for the better, really. Christen knows that once she loved Alex she’ll never be capable of loving anyone else the same. 

There was just something about Alex that incapitated Christen more than anyone else possibly could. If her and Alex did get in a relationship, there was no way that Christen could ever love again if something happened with them. It was just better this way.

-

“Chris.”

Christen looks up from her couch, very concerned about how serious Alex sounded.

“What’s up?” Christen asks.

Alex doesn’t respond, but takes her normal seat next to Christen on her couch. Except, Christen notices, much farther away.

“Alex, what’s up?”

Alex bits her lips, but doesn’t respond right away. She needs to critically think this through, or else she’ll lose it all. 

“Chris, I talked to Tobin earlier,” she starts slowly.

“Okay?”

“She said. Some stuff.”

“What did she say?” Christen asks.

“Well she asked about you. I told her you were doing good, and we were looking at some schools for you.”

“Right,” Christen agrees. 

“And, you know, we started talking about us. And you know, how I was doing after I dumped him. And then the topic of me and you came up,” Alex trails off.

“Right? I’m not sure I follow?”

“Well. Tobin asked if we were dating, ‘yet’. And I really didn’t understand, but then we started talking, and I’m kind of realizing how much of a couple we are?”

“What?” Christen asks nervously.

“Don’t. Don’t play dumb with me, Chris. We both know what I’m talking about.”

Christen swallows loudly and plays out both scenarios in her mind. She could tell Alex how she really feels, or she couldn’t. She could continue to lie about her feelings, pushing them down, and always living with the thought of what could have happened.

She’s been keeping this from Alex for the last God knows how many months. Does Christen love her older neighbor with her whole heart? Yep. Did she ever expect this moment to happen? Hell no. Could she continue living like this, in a lie? Never telling Alex about her feelings? Christen doesn’t think so. 

“Yeah. I do.”

“You do what? Know what I’m talking about?”

Christen nods.

“And?” Alex questions. 

“You first?”

“Me first about what?”

“Do you have feelings for me?” Christen asks, with a sudden sense of bravery.

Alex doesn’t respond right away, and Christen takes this as rejection. She can feel the fear of losing not only Alex, but all of their memories in the past months, in the back of her throat. Alex can see the distress in her younger friend and realizes she should have responded earlier. 

“Chris, I don’t know. I didn’t even think about it until like an hour ago. And now everything is in a swirl, and I love you, but it’s just. Everything. Is so confusing. I broke up with someone I thought I was going to marry like three months ago.”

“Right.”

“And now it’s you. And I’ve been thrown into this, and I’ve been spending so much time with you, and I guess I didn’t see it, but,” Alex trails off. 

“But?”

“I just. I need time. To think.”

“Alex-”

Before Christen can finish her sentence, Alex is already out the door. Christen hears Alex’s door open and slams shut, and all she can do is fall back to her couch. 

She fucking knew she shouldn’t have said anything. She messed everything up, for real this time. She lost Alex, she’s going to lose Tobin, any chance she had at going back to school- really everything that’s keeping her in this God forsaken city. 

This is why Christen never ever ever goes for it. Everytime that she took a chance and reached for something like this, it always ended the same way. She could _never_ get it right. She never has been able to, and she surely never will. God, she wishes she could just get it right, just this once. Just with Alex. That’s all she would ever need. 

-

Christen doesn’t see Alex for another week. She debates with herself every day about going over. But, she doesn’t want to make it worse, so she refrains. 

But, Christen doesn’t know how much longer she can go without Alex and their food, their talks, their time together. Hell, Christen’s willing to bury her feelings for the rest of time just to get their relationship back. 

The next time they see each other, funnily enough, is once again at 3 in the morning when Alex is pounding on Christen’s door. Christen, obviously not awake at this point, groggily wakes up and runs to the door.

“How long?” Alex asks when Christen finally opens the door.

“Alex, wha-

“How. Long.”

“Alex, seriously-”

“Stop. How long have you had these feelings?”

“Honestly? Since you yelled at me about the shower,” Christen tells her. 

“And you kept it from me for this long?!”

“Alex! Can you blame me? Our first interaction was you yelling at me! So was our second! And then you had this boyfriend-”

Alex cuts off the conversation but meets Christen’s lips with her own. They’ve both wanted this, for so long, but both too afraid of rejection from the other. Christen, still, was slightly afraid this was just a joke. Or a dream. Or maybe both. She’s only fantasized about this for the past six months, but no fantasy would ever prepare her for the real thing. 

Alex pulls away slightly, to make sure this is what Christen really wanted, but before she can get too far away, Christen’s pulling her back in. Not that Alex is complaining. Not at all, really. Ever since Christen came over that one night with her ex, she’s seen the younger girl in such a different light. She realized she had feelings only recently, but Alex feels so stupid looking back and not seeing it sooner. They could have saved months of time if Alex had just managed to get her own head out of her ass.

Christen pulls back this time, reluctantly. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted that to happen.”

“Really?” Alex asks.

“God, yes.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“To be honest? I was so scared. If you didn’t want it back, I would lose you forever. I just wasn't ready for that. You are the only good part of this city. You are the only reason I haven’t left.”

“Seriously?” Alex questions. 

“Yeah. Also, I still feel really really bad about what happened at that brunch place. I was so out of line and I haven’t been able to go a day without feeling guilty.”

“You think too much.”

Christen smiles and meets Alex’s lips again. Once she’s had this, Christen doesn’t think she’ll ever be able to let go. And, maybe, just maybe, that was a good thing. Once they seperate, all they can do is stare and smile at each other. 

“I think I’m in love with you,” Christen whispers.

“I think I’m in love with you, too,” Alex replies. 

“Does this mean I can go back to my night showers?”

**Author's Note:**

> Wow this wasn’t supposed to be this long but this just got so far away from me. Also, to my pyatd fans out there, don’t worry ;) i have the next chapter written just need to polish it up <3 anyway, did you guys like this? Let me know! As always, much love to u awesome people <3


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